I cant handle what you are doing to me anymore.. You don't know that you are doing, but then again, how can't you know? You know the extent of my love, the enormous, unfathomable amount that I care for you, but that was not good enough. I should have stopped you, told you no, that we could stick it out here. They couldn't have stopped me from getting to you. I told yes, you may leave, take my son... take my heart .. and you kissed me and left. The next day, sentenced to my room, I would wake up every hour, then cry myself back to sleep. All day... We spoke over the phone constantly, and sometimes over email. When we spoke, I always begged for you to love me, just to wait for me, until I was 17, and then we would be together forever. You would always tell me I had nothing to worry about... That was bullshit.
Four months went by.. Then I lost you.
What does any lover do when they have cheated? They go to their, in this case, puppy, and ask them if they are cheating. Over and over again, you just wouldn't stop. I finally asked you if you had done something, something that you regret and needed to talk about. You instantly replied.... NO puppy.. I would never do anything, I want to be with you Forever and ever... Why did I listen to that? Why? Why? Why?
Two weeks later, I was at work. I called you right before I clocked in to tell you that I loved you, but you didn't pick up, so I left a message. I got a text in the middle of my shift, it was you and it said. We need to talk.. I sent you one back that said I would call you right after work. As soon as I clocked out, I called you and asked what was wrong. You began to cry, telling me that you weren't ready to be a mom, that you couldn't handle it. You also said that you needed a break away from me. Thousands of miles away, but still needed a break... More was said, you ended up leaving me. Luckily, my best friend was right beside me. He watched me through a temper tantrum, and curse anything in sight. He came over to me, gave me a hug, and said that I should just move on. I looked at him, and told him that I would rather die than to give up on you. The rest of my night was a blur. I regret that night.
When I lay down at night, I pray for you, I pray for your unborn girl and that she comes into your life safely. I would sell my soul to be that girls father, and to be the one that holds you at night, but you've made your choice..
I don't know why I just typed all this. You wont read it, and even if you did, it wouldn't matter to you.
I love you little girl... -Puppy
